41 The bottle's empty...that's the problem!

42 Find yourself as the captain for the Exxon Valdez.

43 You wake up naked lying in the corner of a bus depot.

44 Roseanne looks good.

45 Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of bottle.

46 You drink to get over a hangover.

47 That damned pink elephant followed me home again.

48 You are the proud owner of a porcelain bus driver's liscense.

49 The Whisky Ain't Working Anymore.

50 Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when they walk past you.

51 You have a reserved parking space at the A&P.

52 I'm as jober as a sudge!

53 You consider yourself a workaholic, becuase every time you go to work, you want to have a beer!

54 I slept with that damned pink elephant again.

55 Mosquitoes spiral down to the ground in circles after biting you.

56 Newt Gingrich.... he's soooo sexy.

57 You find yourself in a room on a train arriving in Tiajuana and the last thing you remember is being in a bar in NYC!

58 Your name is Ted Kennedy.

59 You wake up in Korea in August and the last thing you remember is the Fourth of July party in Waikiki.

60 Red dog upside down looks like batman eating a catwoman.

61 You've fallen and you can't/(don't want to) get up.

62 You don't drink. (That's a problem!)

63 when hangovers become an attractive alternative lifestyle.

64 BeerTender! Get me another Bar!

65 Boris Yeltsin tries to get you to join AA.

66 The shrubbery's drunk from frequent watering.

67 Do you <your name> take this woman.....

68 You wake up too groggy to come up with anything funny for this damn list.

69 You realize you have shaved your head except for a little rat tail hanging from the top and you're pestering people to buy incense & crap.

70 Your only friends are Jack, Johnnie, and Jose.

71 Double vision so much the norm, you can't function w/o it.

72 You listen to the radio and start dancing to hootie and the blowfish.

73 Because you're not as think you are drunk I am...

74 Salt, sugar, grease, carbohydrates - yes, alcohol is the fifth food group.

75 Your favorite drink is ethanol.

76 Why does everybody think I have a prinking droblem?!

77 You can't remember what your family looks like... or if you have a family.

78 You wake up surrounded by 50 dented cases of SPAM.

79 You like SPAM.

80 You get defensive when someone asks if you have drinking problem.